But I’m No Expert

We’re stalking big prey today. This particular animal happens to be bloated, old, and well out of its prime, yet it lives on. The feelers reach out farther than most animals, even out of it’s own territory. With hide as tough as steel, not many of these animals end up being killed. In fact, most only get killed when they are young, or they are eaten by larger ones. The most obvious trait about this animal is its charm. Yes, this animal seduces groups of people into working with it; all the while it steals from them and ends up leaving them worse off than they were, despite its best promises. Most of these groups of people end up hatching their own good animals; who use their charm for good.

The hunt today is due to a story circulating on the internet about one of these beasts’ effects on a person we all know and love, Weird Al Yankovich. Yes, Weird Al was seduced by the beast known as “Volcano Records”, who convinced Al he was helpless without it and needed it in order to release his last two albums “Running with Scissors” and “Poodle Hat”. Hopefully, today’s hunt will yield a win for the good guys and we’ll be able to release Weird Al from the beast’s spell.

Al himself alerted us to his plight. In apparently moment of clarity, he revealed that despite the fact that MP3s require incredibly little cost to distribute via iTunes, he makes less money via iTunes than he does via CD sales. 85% less, in fact. While we certainly think Al should have known better than to trust this evil beast, we can’t help but take pity on him and hunt down the culprit. If you’ve been around me long, you know there’s nothing I like less than injustice. Injustice to my fellow artists just sets me off quicker than just about anything. We as buyers should simply revolt against these evil beasts of the Recordus Labelus genus, kill them all off, and replace them with their, friendlier cousins who don’t take advantage of their artists…but I’m no expert!

Have you ever run across one of those super querky sites that you couldn't surf away from? I found one of those recently. It's the "If Earth Were a Sandwich…" site. Check it out. Here's the basic premise:

You take a picture of a piece of bread, and submit to the site, with your location. The site has an algorithm that figures out the exact opposite point on the globe, and puts another piece of bread there, thereby creating an "Earth sandwich"! Wacky huh?

The funniest part I've found is that the exact opposite of the entire United States is in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I always thought it would be either China (ya know the whole "Are you digging your way to China?" thing) or Australia. Apparently not. I know it's kinda goofy, but some things are just worth sharing, but I'm no expert…

So, I’m reading the news the other day and I ran across this article on Foxnews.com. Apparently, the Presbyterian Church USA (FYI – this is a different denomination from Presbyterian PCA) has decided that they are going to try some “inclusive” references to the trinity. It’s not binding, so people who don’t want to use it, don’t have to, but they decided on a few potential replacements for Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:

Rock, Redeemer, Friend – ok, I guess
Creator, Savior, Sanctifier – good one
King of Glory, Prince of Peace, Spirit of Love – too verbose
Lover, Beloved, Love – kindy fruity if you ask me
Mother, Child and Womb – huh?

OK, the whole “Let’s make God more inclusive” thing reaks of stupidity, but it might be an interesting creative exercise, ya know, to make new references with Biblical origins. However, that last one is just asinine. Mother, Child, Womb? What? I can’t be the only one who thinks that one is only “inclusive” for women, since we ALL have wombs , right? They say this is all because the mere idea that God is male is somehow an insult to women and we need to include everybody, blah, blah, blah. What a load of crap. These people need a hobby. Oh wait, they have one already – it’s nit picking every little pointless thing and making everyone else miserable! What they need to do is focus on the important aspects of Christianity, like showing the world how loving God really is so everyone wants to get to know him…but I’m no expert.

Yet another person is concerned about children's safety on Myspace, as we all should be. However, when a parent lets their 14-year-old girl go on a date with someone that they A) don't know, B) should be able to see that he's over 18, and C) is taking their 14-year-old daughter on a date, then they should be hauled out and shot for gross, no disgusting, negligence!

In case you missed it, a Mom is suing Myspace because her daughter met a 19-year-old man, they went out on a date, and he sexually assaulted her. Their complaint is that Myspace doesn't do enough to protect kids who have an account on the site.

Ok, people. If you have kids, you have a responsibility to parent them. If you don't like that, don't have sex! And if you're not going to parent them, don't bother publicizing your irresponsibility. They provide a service, they do not police said service and I don't think they should. You don't see the mall asking every kid for their age & not letting them talk to anyone older than they are…

Granted the internet is a different animal, but really, you let your daughter go out with him! Myspace isn't responsible for taking care of your child. That's all you baby! I think you should get off your a$$, do your job, and don't make the rest of about your mistakes, but I'm no expert…

Hello WordPress-ers!

The certified non-expert has arrived! I'm expanding my reach to WordPress. I figure more people need to know, without a doubt, that I'm not an expert, but I definitely have an opinion. So here I am. If you're curious about things I've already written about, feel free to visit my first blog at http://butimnoexpert.blogspot.com. I'll be posting any new opinions here also, but previous stuff will only be there. I hope you all will keep reading, I'm working up some good stuff for this next week, so stay tuned. Frankly, you'll kick yourself if you miss the upcoming articles, but I'm no expert!